I can't cope with this anymore!!!!!

The last thing Caitie said to me when I put her to bed last night was "I don't want to go to preschool Mummy!" Then at 12:30am she woke up and refused to go back to sleep, she had herself so worked up that she could not relax and kept telling me to "not leave her". At 2am I'd had enough, I snapped at her and told her to lie down and go to sleep, she then screamed as I had scared her, which woke Andrew up, so he came in and told me to go back to bed and he would get her back to sleep So I went back to my bed and then at 2:30am Pip woke for a feed.......

She did sleep till 7am and then it was, do we send her or not??? (She also had unexplained 39 deg temps all day yesterday) I rang the centre and spoke to one of the carers and she said that once a week is a long time between stays for a 3 year old, so she suggested either increase her days or maybe she is still a little to young to cope with the separation and to stop for a couple of months....

I decided to take her today and discuss it with the director to see what our options were. So Andrew took Pip and I got Caitie ready and told her we were going for a drive to Richmond.... It was all good till she saw the centre and that's when it started again. She cried, screamed, sobbed, pleaded and cried some more, then we got out of the car. I left her still going with Mel and headed home.

I agonised over what to do all day, then came up with an idea that I thought might work, how about instead of her going for 8:30am till 3:30pm, how about 9am till 12pm and after talking to Andrew and Aunty Jan about it I was feeling a lot better. So Andrew and I headed back up to talk to them and pick her up. The director said that they had been discussing her for most of the day and that she had be ok, but would not let Mel leave her side. what they suggested was either pull her out for a while or maybe if when I bring her I hang around for an hour or more so she can play but I'm just in the room if she needs me and then only leave her for a couple of hours rather than the whole day.

So that is where we are at, I leave Pip with Andrew, we arrive at 9am, I stay till 10ish, tell her that I am going to get Pippi and that I will be back after lunch and see if it works.

All I can say is that I can't function like this for much longer, as it is just not Wednesday that she is upset, she is working herself up all week and Tuesday night she is a mess and also Wednesday night and I am meant to start up Bible study again next Wednesday night!!!!

I just don't know what to do or where to turn! I do know that at this moment we need a lot of prayer, to know what to do and be able to cope. It is heart breaking/shredding/massacring when you have to leave your baby so absolutely terrified she can't breath just cause it is what she should be doing to expand her social skills and learn.

Please pray....